How To Talk Ourselves Down When Overwhelmed

It is apparent that many of us are functioning under a high level of stress.  It could be workload at a job, worries about children, or a sense of overwhelm about getting it all done. Humans allow these feelings to dominate their daily functioning.   When extremely elevated, they tend to slip into “rant” mode. They complain about everything they are feeling and all that they need to do. They dwell on why it’s impossible to do it.   Being in the presence of people in these moments of overwhelm provides valuable clarity and perspective into our own lives.  It helps us to learn how to talk ourselves down when we feel stress levels rise.

Your Attitude is Contagious

I tend to feel calmer, as I realize that my own worries are not that bad. I know that I am better off just chipping away at some of them.  It’s better to get a small amount accomplished than to waste precious time complaining about why I cannot do it.  I understand that this type of venting can be cathartic and serve a purpose. I do engage in it from time to time with those I’m close to. Yet going around with this attitude of doom and gloom every day does nothing but bring others around you down.  Learning how to talk ourselves down when experiencing high levels of stress is essential to our survival.

Doctor Elizabeth Scott states: “If your self-talk is negative, you perceive events of your life as more stressful than they need to be. You may be creating unnecessary anxiety and stress for yourself. Perhaps you attribute negative motivations to people who are well-meaning. You may view yourself as less equipped to handle the challenges you face. Perhaps you see more negatives than positives in what you are facing in life. There may be a much less stressful “bright side” you’re not perceiving because of habitual negative self-talk” (https://www.verywellmind.com).

This is such an important consideration to be aware of. Watch carefully as you go about your day. Try to catch yourself when you find your thoughts being critical of others, and of yourself. Do you constantly complain about others and undermine your own abilities? Practice flipping these thoughts to focus on your own purpose and task at hand. See it in a positive light, rather than letting your mind always stray to what is wrong at the moment.

How to Talk Ourselves Down: Coming up with a Plan

Instead, we need to come up with a plan to deal with this sense of overwhelm. We must identify how we will complete our tasks, by assigning blocks of time to each one. Say I am working on meeting with my caseload of students and organizing a school-wide test at the same time. How long is each task going to take?  What are smaller deadlines I can assign to each task?   When can I schedule those meetings or that paperwork in?

These questions race through our minds and we can feel our heart rate increasing and our palms begin to sweat. How to talk ourselves down in these moments of overwhelm is an important skill. Setting smaller goals in writing will go a long way to feeling calmer. You’ll know that you won’t complete the task in its entirety. Many other things happen around you in the day that come up last minute. But at least you will have a finite goal to strive for.

Managing Our Worries: How to Talk Ourselves Down

 We also need to clarify what we can do about our worried feelings.  You may be worried about your child’s schooling. She may not get the marks she needs to do what she wishes to do in the future.  I may worry about getting house projects done. Perhaps I stress about how to communicate with my husband without sounding like a nag.  I could be worried about a particular student and feel overwhelmed by how to respond to his issues. These worries can consume us and begin to negatively impact our physical and mental health. We must practice how to talk ourselves down in these situations, and break action steps down into achievable chunks. This can go a long way toward keeping these worries from overwhelming us. For further insights, see my related article, How to Overcome Negative Emotions to Achieve Peace.

Silence Your Stress by Taking Action Steps

I need to ask myself what I can do about these particular worries at this moment in time. Then, I make these tasks limited.  I won’t go on and on and obsess over finding all the solutions in one day.   Instead,  I will see how we can help with the coursework and test preparation.   I may discuss one project with my husband. We may buy what we need to complete another project so that there are no delays getting started.  I will email the parent of my student outlining steps we can take to begin to resolve the problems.   The point is I will limit what I choose to do on this day to specific steps. Then I will let the worries go until the next day. Check out the related post, The Balancing Act.

How to Talk Ourselves Down: Pacing, Planning, and Calmness

Strive to adopt a mindset of decisive action and a calm approach to problems. It can successfully bring you down from an elevated state to one that is more conducive to your mental health.  By pacing yourself through your tasks and worries, you begin to take your problems in stride. This will allow time in the day for self-care, positive interactions with friends and family, house chores, and relaxation.  Less ranting about the injustices of life will create more positivity and realistic expectations for ourselves. We can learn how to talk ourselves down when we feel stressed. We can then be role models for others to learn from our actions and reactions.  At the end of the day, we do what we can and that has to be enough.