Positive Strategies for Supporting Your Teen’s Mental Health
Keep the Lines of Communication Open
Teens are famous for spending time in their bedrooms, responding in mumbles or grunts, and resisting your efforts at conversation. This means you have to try even harder to draw them out. Show that you’re interested in what’s happening in your teen’s life. Praise their efforts, as well as their achievements to show that you love them unconditionally. Accept and validate their opinions so that they feel valued. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings. Let them know that you are there to help them problem solve when they need it. Really listen when they come to you about something, no matter how small. If they know they can trust you with the small stuff, they will be more comfortable coming to you with bigger problems. Supporting our teen’s mental health depends on open communication.
If you notice a change in their behavior, and they’ve become particularly withdrawn, you should raise your concerns with your child. They might refuse any help or say there’s nothing wrong. Many young people won’t seek help themselves. So you might need to say that you’re worried about them and you’ll be trying to get professional advice. If you’re not sure what to do, a family doctor, school counselor, or social worker is a good place to start https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/mental-health-physical-health/about-mental-health/teen-mental-health.
Supporting Your Teen’s Mental Health: Cut Them Some Slack When Needed
It’s easy to fall into the trap of high expectations for our children. We want them to be the best possible version of themselves. So we encourage them to get top grades and have good study habits, be involved in their school community through sports or clubs, and get a part-time job to gain some valuable work experience and skills. We want them to have positive social lives, and continue to play an active role in family events and outings. Many teens can balance all of this, but it doesn’t mean they can do it all of the time. Supporting our teen’s mental health means knowing how to recognize this. There may be times or certain phases where they need to pull back. They need more downtime. This might mean cutting back on certain involvements or skipping some events to just hang out with their friends.
They are learning how to balance various pressures, and they often let out their frustrations and stress on their parents. While they should not be permitted to be disrespectful, it is natural to have bad moods and to express negative emotions. We need to listen when they are expressing that they no longer wish to do something, or that they want to start something we may not have expected for them. We have to be careful not to project our own values and interests on them, and begin to let them make their own decisions. They may need more rest time or downtime, and we shouldn’t judge them for being lazy and apathetic. Their bodies and minds are going through significant changes, and it’s important to be sensitive to their needs and respect them. Taking Care of Our Teens should be our priority over unrealistic expectations.
Watch for Warning Signs
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, there are several mental health red flags that parents should watch out for. If your teen is sleeping excessively, beyond usual teenage fatigue, this could indicate depression or substance abuse. Difficulty sleeping, insomnia, and other sleep disorders can all be red flags for mental health issues. A loss of self-esteem is another common sign that your child is feeling down about themselves. They may speak negatively about their school achievement, their abilities, their friends, or their physical appearance. Draw out these conversations further to determine if these feelings are constant. They abandon or lose interest in favorite pastimes, like sports, music, or other activity they once loved. They may say that it’s stupid, or they never liked it anyway.
Another sign is an unexpected and dramatic decline in academic performance, along with a lack of caring about their future. This is a sign that they don’t care about themselves, which could indicate depression. Additionally, weight loss and loss of appetite could indicate an eating disorder and should be gently investigated to watch for patterns. Finally, if you notice major personality shifts and changes, such as aggressiveness and excess anger that are sharply out of character, this could indicate psychological, drug, or sexual problems. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/Pages/Mental-Health-and-Teens-Watch-for-Danger-Signs.aspx.
Supporting Your Teen’s Mental Health: Encourage Teens to Do What They Love
There can be a fine line between encouraging teens to take a break when needed, and letting them just give up on things altogether. It is important to not let either extreme take over and to recognize when they need to be pushed or encouraged. It is often easy for them to say that they don’t want to go on a family hike. Yet we know the exercise and fresh air is good for them. So maybe they don’t come along every time, but they do have to participate in family time when they can. They may seem down about a sport they used to love and feel like they are too busy. Yet we know that this is one of the things that lights them up inside and that they will benefit from the social connections and sense of belonging to a team or group.
At these times, we need to help them see the value in certain pursuits, and to know when it is worth the investment of time. Instead of letting them quit, we can help them find a way to have balance. Maybe a competitive team is too busy with all that they are juggling, but a house league team once a week might be just what they need to maintain a connection. Perhaps your teen used to love drawing but doesn’t see how it fits into the current pathway of school, work, post-secondary, to career. Help her find ways to fit it in for fun, and to make the time for leisure pursuits.
As parents, in supporting our teen’s mental health, it’s our job to be attentive to their patterns and behaviors. We can achieve this by being involved with their lives and asking questions to show that we are interested. We should encourage the basics that keep anyone mentally healthy: proper rest, balanced nutrition, physical activity, and fresh air. Establishing routines that give them a break from technology is also critical. Striking a balance between encouraging them to do what they love, and allowing adequate downtime and breaks as they feel they need. It’s time to encourage them to make these decisions for themselves, while at the same time, being there as the supportive guide when they need you. See the related post Allowing Our Teens to Fail: How to Strike a Balance for more advice.
